sorry for the break....

i got distracted.

i know i should really work on a better excuse than that but there you go.

life has been chugging along as usual lately... my job has introduced me to some new crazy people and some new lovely people... my hubs has been sweeter and sweeter every day which makes the babymakin' efforts much more enjoyable all around (not that he's ever really not sweet, but i guess i've just been sweeter!)... and the temperature outside feels like fall is coming which always makes me giddy.

as you can see from the previous post i got quite worked up with the charting and made myself a little manic about the whole thing. so this month i did the opposite and got super lazy. some days i could barely remember to take my temp and other days i could hardly force myself to type it in. i guess i just came to the conclusion that it's going to be a long journey so i better settle down and mellow out as to not drive myself and everyone else crazy.

well, that would be all good and well but look at what's happened as a result:

DOTTED CROSSHAIRS! bloody hell.

that means that i don't have sufficient data for FF to be certain of my ovulation date and so these crosshairs are just a guess... a guess! i mean, it looks like a pretty good guess and it's the one i would've made myself given my history of ovulation timing, but i don't like ambiguity on my charts.

i guess it's just another life lesson in balance. i feel pretty strongly that i'm not jinxing anything to say this, but next month i'm going to be a little more on top of things and record my temps and my CM but try to do it in a relaxed way.

how hard can that be, right?!

ha.

When I see your dotted crosshairs, this is all I can think about (tip of the day: do NOT Google image search "hunting rabbits." You will barf. And then you will cry):

oh god! now i want nothing else than to google that term just because you told me not to.......

i might bludgeon my husband. seriously.

he's doing that thing where he makes me feel like we live in an uber-lame-o sitcom like Everybody Loves Raymond or something. [I think you guys are more "Mork & Mindy"--said with much affection and a hazy memory]

he's in the living room watching a horror movie (i despise horror movies.) and i am trying my very best to enjoy non-killing (tv or real life) internet time alone because i already know that i have PMS symptoms and i need to be put on self-imposed lockdown in order to at least make a futile attempt at avoiding complete and utter bitchitude. FAIL. so i'm back here minding my own business reading other people's business and he keeps coming back here... to see what i'm doing... to tell me how is effing stomach hurts.... and then he's back again in five minutes to tell me he's decided the culprit is the cheese he put on his sandwich.... and then he's back again in five minutes to tell me that if he doesn't feel better before we go to a friend's house in a little while that he doesn't think he'll be drinking tonight.... and then he's back to tell me the dog peed on the rug! and i cannot. take. it. any. more. and i finally break into bitchitude and throw up my hands and ask if he came back here just to update me (cause i really don't need a fucking update!) or if he's informing me so that *i* will go and clean it up..... and then he gets all doe eyed and put-out at the same time and is like "why are you so snappy?!"

here's why i'm snappy folks:

PMS sucks. mine does fo' sho. and what sucks more than that is when you have baby-makin on the brain and your PMS symptoms are eerily similar to pregnancy symptoms:

• tender breasts
• fatigue
• IRRITABILITY
• food cravings
• skin breakouts
• bloating
• constipation
• ... etc - you get it

(mother nature: i love you most of the time, i really do. but right now you can just go suck a lemon. that is all.)

it's all too easy to say you are going to be logical and not convince yourself of the near impossible but daaay-um if that's not, well, nearly impossible. i know i'm not preggers. i know it's PMS. and yes, i'm snappy.

deal with it.

i have to.

EDIT: i am not even kidding you. he just came in here to tell me the movie is over and that it was dumb.... and that his stomach still hurts.

i didn't kill him. i deserve a medal.